The Morning Routine

6.45 (time I am supposed to jump into the shower) - Drink mug of tea thoughtfully provided by Tevye. Tea hot and self slow. Now running late.

6.55 - Finish tea. Urgently need to shower. Cherub urgently needs to nurse. Nursing trumps shower.

7.05 - Tevye leaves for work. Cherub dumped in cot (crib) while I take shower. Angel and Star dress.

7.10 - Out of shower. Rescue cross Cherub. Try to change her top as Tevye has dressed her in one that belongs with a different outfit. Cherub will not stay still. Give up and leave her in vest and trousers.

7.15 - Star complains new age 9-10 school shirt is tight. Star is a slim just 9 year old. Pretend not to hear complaints as no other clean shirts.

7.20 - Angel complains age 12-13 school shirt is tight. Angel is an ultra-slim 12yo. Angel changes shirt. Give age 12-13 shirt to Star. Make mental note not to buy school shirts from Tesco. Cherub occupied trying to stuff herself into my clothes.

7.25 - Everyone dressed, apart from half-dressed Cherub. Star can't find hairbrush / sports kit / homework. Star tired and emotional. Cherub finds Hama beads. Remove Cherub from beads. Find Star's hairbrush, sports kit and homework.

7.30 - Cherub shrieks when Angel tries to dress her. Stays in vest. Star shrieks because hair knotty.

7.35 - Brush Star's hair. Try to organise breakfast.

7.40 - Star shrieks because cannot find hair elastics. Still tired and emotional and complains she doesn't feel well. ("Are you well enough for school?" "Don't know." "Shall I ring F and say you are not going?" "NOOOO!!!!!!"). Find only remaining unbroken elastics in bag she used yesterday.

7.45 - Finish getting breakfast. More shrieks from Star. Hair elastics have fallen into toilet bowl. Half an hour of whining and wailing takes its toll. Shriek at Star. Star emerges slightly chastened and clutching soggy hair elastics. Wash hair elastics. Star manages to finish hair.

7.50 - Eat breakfast. Star becomes human. (Duh! Blood sugar!) Little Cherub fiddles with Cheerios.

7.55 - Star announces she needs a file folder for school. Amazingly am able to lay hands on one instantly, complete with remains of schoolwork from three years ago. (So much for decluttering.) Empty out folder and help Star reorganise schoolbag. Angel eats apple and supervises Cherub. Cry from Angel: "Mum! There's a Cheerio fountain here!"

8.00 - Girls leave, amazingly on time, with sports kit, lunches, bags and looking presentable. Rescue Cherub, still in vest, from high chair and ascertain that Cherub has indeed created a Cheerio fountain, evidenced by Cheerios over table, chair and wide area of floor.

8.02 - Angel returns to say that J-next-door is not ready, so can I please fill in a forgotten form for her to take to school.

8.05 - Angel leaves again. Clear up Cheerios. Finally manage to finish dressing Cherub (should just have left her in the original top!). Breathe deep sigh of relief.